Eroticism
by Linda White Dove M.Ed.
Eroticism is the alignment of the body, mind and heart in the current
moment. This alignment makes a path for your divine self energies to
flow through, creating an enhancement of the senses and an increased
openness to life. Eroticism is something that can be shared with a
partner, but it stems from the courage to open your heart to life and
say yes to the exquisite pleasurable sensations of being alive (whether
you are "having sex" or not). However, sexual intimacy is often
considered a good way to experience eroticism because it offers plenty
of pleasurable sensations, because desire for sexual fulfilment is a
powerful motivator, and because intimacy over time creates trust between
partners, offering a safe environment to be really open.
Erotic is different from sexy. Sexy is a mental process, an
evaluation (value) we give to certain people and objects based on
conditioning from culture, friends, family, the media, etc. Sex is the
realm of the mind acted out in bed. It is about placing value on
ourselves and lovers based on external conditions or belief systems
(many of which were passed on from other lovers who were also taught
they were not good/sexy enough). While it is okay to enjoy the external
appearances/expressions of yourself, partner(s) and environment, the
downside of "sexy" is that when it comes with the need to be good
enough, all of our past conditioning comes into play making it difficult
to fully enjoy the experience. I believe that much of our sexual desire
is actually a desire for erotic fulfilment and that if we could
experience this deeper (holistic) aspect of sexuality, we would not
need to find our self worth in a search for the perfect partner,
medication, sexual techniques, or having the perfect body. I also
believe it would challenge the fear, anger and hurt that perpetuates the
so-called "war of the sexes." To truly be open in body/mind/heart with
each other and be fulfilled, pleasured and received is the best healing
gift we have to offer ourselves and the world.
Eroticism is the experience of ourselves as fulfilled, whole beings.
When we come from the inner experience of wholeness, there is no need to
fear that our needs cannot be met because they already are. We do not
need our partners to be a certain way in order to feel worthwhile, nor
do we need to live up to the fear based standards of others. This frees
us to enjoy our experiences with each other. When in alignment with our
own wholeness we are in contact with our divinity (a state of being
known as Eros) and the very experience of being alive can produce
feelings of pleasure, bliss and love in its unconditional form (meaning
we do not have to do or be anything to feel it). Eroticism is our
innate, natural state of being, waiting to be remembered (embodied).
When you remember eroticism, you will be able to feel it everywhere in
everyone and everything. It is the pleasure and joy that comes from
being fully alive. When you can live this way, beyond mental
conditioning/illusion, you feel life with a depth and breadth that makes
every thought and every moment a deeply sensual experience that is not
limited by fear, or lack. Our sensory ability is infinite; it is only
our perceptions of how much is too much for us (usually from lack of
self worth) that has us believe we can only feel a specific amount of
pleasure.
The path of eroticism (Eros) is not something to be obtained or
earned. It is ever present because divine love is what you are made of.
It is not necessary to embrace any belief, aspect of yourself or any
teaching. Nor is it necessary to let go of anything such as releasing
fear, belief systems, cultural conditioning, etc. Both of these require
action on your part and are based on the belief that you are not divine
love already so you have to act in some way to become it. The path of
eros is a path of non-effort and of non-being. It is a path of non-sense
(smile) in that it cannot be understood using the linear, logical mind.
This is one of the reasons that many spiritual texts sound like a
variation of "Confucius says..." Words are a tool of the linear, logical
mind and are not intended to convey that which cannot be understood in a
linear fashion, except when used in a rhythmic, non linear manner such
as with poetry or certain song lyrics.
Eros is most easily accessed in those moments when you lose track of
your ego self, or when some difficult event causes you to be confused or
feel like your life is in chaos, beyond your control. The chaos is like
static that causes a disruption in your usual perceptions of yourself in
relation to your world and life, and in that chaos you are able to sense
your erotic self. Eros awareness can come from a major life changing
event creating the willingness to see things a different way, or in the
passion of sexual embrace when you forget yourself even just for a
moment. It can happen anytime a person experiences alignment of body,
mind and heart in the moment, however certain practices such as
meditation or Shamballa Multi-Dimensional Healing can help create a
space for a person to forget their limited sense of self and thus set
the space for the eros awareness to shine through. Likewise for letting
go of/opening to beliefs and ways of being. It is important to
understand here, though, that that releasing/opening and spiritual
practices do not create the awareness of Eros which is ever present, it
just creates the conditions in which we are more likely to notice it.
The experience of eroticism can have long lasting impact, even if
only felt for a brief period of time. It causes a person to see beyond
the boxes of conditioning in which we live usually unaware. I am fairly
certain that everyone has perceptual boxes, at least when we try to
understand life through our rational/logical/linear mind. Even people
who consider themselves free spirits who express their sexuality in a
very open way often do so as a response to the sexual standards they do
not wish to have imposed upon them. On some level, most choices
regarding sexuality (and everything else) are a response to some belief
we hold which, whether it is working for you or not, it is still a
belief and therefore is mental conditioning. To see beyond the
perceptual boxes often means seeing mental conditioning for what it is
and opening to new perceptions (or going beyond the need for perceptions
at all), which can be life altering.
For me, feeling erotic energy taught me that it can be enjoyed for
what it is without having to "act" on it. When everything can be
immensely pleasurable, there is no need to respond out of lack to try
and receive the energy from any specific person or in any specific way
(such as "a relationship"). The form matters less to me, which leaves me
free to enjoy pleasure as it is, whether I "have sex" with them or not.
When I choose to "have sex," I am no longer tied to the limiting self
beliefs that had me needing to define the interaction and what it means.
I can deeply love and enjoy the person as they are, without needing
anything from them to feel okay. I also am learning that everyone is
sexual and all interactions are sexual interactions because life is
sexual. I feel a lot less shame and guilt around sexuality, and about
being sexually attracted to someone, even if they do not feel the same
about me. I can enjoy my sexuality unconditionally. I can also
appreciate the sexuality in everyone, even people I choose not to "have
sex" with, and I can respond to sexual energy in others with increased
openness (non-judgment). It was amazing to notice the degree to which
shame/fear/anger/hurt formed the basis in how I interacted with people
whether it was a lover or someone whistling at me as I walked down the
street. I am also noticing how we all hold our past hurts and other
conditioning deep inside and interact with other people from these
limiting perceptions of self. When, in the moment, I become aware of
myself interacting from limitation, I open to the eros/erotic energy and
the situation often changes as I change my self perception.
It is my hope that the perspective of eroticism offered in this
article can create new understanding and healing individually and
collectively. I wish for each of you the deepest, most juicy,
pleasurable, sensate experiences that life has to offer so you can
taste, smell, hear, see, feel and know your total fulfilment as the
erotic gods and goddesses that you are.
In love, Linda White Dove
Copyright 2004 Linda White Dove
Linda White Dove, M. Ed. is a healing facilitator with a worldwide
practice focusing on unity consciousness and sexuality. She is also a
writer working on her first book and co-partner at Energy Medicine
Cabinet, an easy-to-use, innovative resource for health, wellness and
fulfilment.
For more information:
http://www.energymedicinecabinet.com and
http://www.lindawhitedove.com
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