Introduction

One question seems to arise frequently;

"My man doesn't come during oral sex, am I doing something wrong?"

The fact that a man may not ejaculate during oral sex is not necessarily an indication that you are 'doing it wrong'. In this article we examine the male psyche, the physical act of performing oral sex on your man and techniques which will help dispel some female insecurities around the subject.

Men Will Be Men

"All men delight in sensual luxury"
The Cenci
Percy Bysshe Shelley (1792–1822).  

 

Man... That strange being, strong, impulsive, heroic, he will slay the mighty dragon with his trusty sword and win the admiration of his woman; or so he would have you believe.

All men aspire to strength, heroics and the adoration of their loved one, it is an integral and fundamental aspect of the evolution and survival of the species, but men have a sensitive side too. Granted many men will hide this side of their personality which once again can be attributed to the survival instinct, none the less it is still there to varying degrees in all men.

It is this sensitive aspect of the male psyche and their instinct to hide it that can lead to a woman's belief that she is not fulfilling certain desires; this may or may not necessarily be true. It may be of surprise to know that the true extent of male emotional needs are not completely disparate from those of a woman, it is only the expression of these needs that differ. Sex is inevitably better with partners who desire, need, want and long for each other and the ultimate sex can be achieved when deeply in love.

It follows, therefore that male enjoyment of oral sex will not be as good if his emotional needs are not completely fulfilled. This doesn't mean that you have to continuously tell him what a 'hunk he is'! Emotional fulfilment is far more subtle than that, but it certainly does mean that he will derive greater pleasure if he knows that you want to be doing it out of your own needs and your desire for him. This can only be demonstrated by your enjoyment of the act and discussions of it. Steer well clear of your indication that you 'don't really like it' or you're 'only doing it for him' and the golden rule for not wrecking his emotional needs and stifling his full enjoyment of oral sex is never use the promise of it as a 'reward or punishment'. This is the surest way to convince him that you are not doing it because you want to but only because he wants you to; there is a big difference!

Anatomy

The penis is an erogenous zone, defined as such by its make up of ridges of nerve endings sensitive to light touch; these are particularly abundant just inside the tip of the foreskin. The sensual pleasure for a man to be touched or stroked lightly around the penis is immense but a gentle action such as this will rarely result in orgasm. It is this pleasurable sensation that is the virtual raison d'être attitude towards receiving oral sex in males. The lips and tongue provide the perfect 'soft' touch to generate sensation in these nerve endings but to regularly achieve orgasm however, the penis will generally require more rigorous action.

This action can be provided by use of the hand either alternately or in unison with the mouth, although it should be noted that orgasms are more likely with a build up to a faster and more rigorous manipulation of the full length of the penis. This is difficult to achieve and maintain with the mouth alone and additional use of the hand will more often than not be necessary as the man becomes more aroused.

Conclusions

If your man ejaculates normally during sex and masturbation and you are following the above guidelines but still fail to induce ejaculation it is certainly not because you are doing something wrong. Equally it is not because there is anything wrong with your man other than the fact that he does not suffer from premature ejaculation. Don't say 'what's the matter?' or 'didn't you enjoy that?'; statements such as these can only leave him feeling inadequate in the bedroom and will ultimately stifle your sex lives. The truth is only a matter of biology and the distinction between highly pleasurable sensations and the sustained full length friction required to achieve general orgasm.

As with all sex, try not to be mind readers once you enter the bedroom. Tell your partner when something feels good and encourage them to do the same. We can all appreciate the physical enjoyment of sensual touch around many parts of both the male and female body but however much you love him licking your earlobe it is highly doubtful he will ever bring you to orgasm doing it. If your man wants you to perform oral sex then he must enjoy it orgasm or not, so build it into your foreplay and enjoy your journey along the path to the ultimate night time fun.

 

Copyright © S.Cross BSc 2006

 

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